I look back on it now... and DAMN it sucked to have had a broken heart like that for so long. It's funny how I would have given anything in the world to keep that love when I had it and thought I was losing it, but now that I lost it and am without it, I would give the world NOT to have it back. Ultimately it wasn't worth whatever good I thought I got from that whole thing because I had no control over when or whether I would experience that part of it.
I could be doing my best on a day that I am barely even getting by (if that makes any sense), and out of the blue, I would allow myself to simply get shattered to pieces at his will.
(This was saved as a draft and apparently this blog was never finished. I'm not even sure what date it was written on. May decide to delete, may not.)
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